Honestly... being a single, self respecting woman now a days is just not as easy as it seems... and I am certainly being put to the test at the moment.
Admittedly... we have all had our ''casual'' flings and bit of ''fun'' over the years....which is all fine and dandy...
....and then ''supposedly'' we all go on to meet the love of our lives and settle down, leaving our naughty single ways behind us.
But what happens to those of us who find ourselves single again after broken relationships... ? Do we take to our ''casual'' flings again? And if so, well... when does the ''fun'' become too much?
I am a little bit torn with this concept at the moment...
You see, after being completely monogamous for 4 years... getting used to single life again definitely took some getting used to. Yes, I was the one who broke away, but I still needed my time...and so after an added good few months.. I was just coming round to the idea of being with other men again. Coincidentally this was about the time when I moved back to Dubai, last year in May 2012.
Needless to say... after emigrating to the warm temperatures of Dubai, moving into my own apartment and meeting lots of other singletons.... well... I was soon feeling very at ease with my new single life. In fact - I was darn right loving it.
However, as 2013 rolled in, I was ready for something more than just ''fun.'' I had enjoyed my ''single'' time.. and more importantly given myself time to be by myself and feel like ''me'' again. Therefore, I said goodbye to some gorgeous men in my life and promised myself no more ''casual'' flings or ''fun''' until I met someone who I actually had feelings for.. I wanted some romance again..
Problem with that great idea... is that... I currently find myself still single.... ultimately meaning that I have now been extremely well behaved for most of this year ...
And to top if off... these gorgeous men that I said goodbye to... are still trying to provoke me into some more single fun... which in all honesty has left me at the point of feeling that I cannot resist much longer....
In fact I haven't resisted. opps.
Actually, not ''opps''..... because I quite frankly do not feel bad about this in any way whatsoever! Basically... what happened is that after some rather unexpected but damn good bit of weekend fun... I have quickly been awoken to the realization that yes...I am single....I am 25 years old ......and YES....of course I should be having fun...
.....Just everything has its boundaries!
I can still have my self respect, but there is absolutely no need for me to be acting like I am joining a nunnery while I am single.
So its got me thinking....
One of my good friends out here has a ''friend with benefits'' .... and rather superbly.... she has aptly named him.... ''Hero'' for reasons being obvious... he's the best sex that she has ever had....and therefore her ''Hero.'' (I know its brilliant.. it makes me laugh every time that she says ''I saw Hero last night''). Anyhoo.... they have had the ''relationship'' talk and he doesn't want one. Yes, she would have liked more with him but she is perfectly fine with them also just keeping things ''casual'' because she now knows where she stands with him and at the end of the day.. they are having an amazing time with each other. In the mean time, she's not doing this with anyone else... but she is obviously single and still going on dates and when the time comes when she sees something happening romantically with another guy then of course she will stop her ''fun'' with ''Hero''.
Basically... the bonus of having a ''friend with benefits'' is of course.... you get your ''fun'' pretty much on call whenever you want it.
...BUT.... from a woman's point of view.... its more than that. We can, by all means go out to a bar and quite easily take someone home with us... however my problem with that... and most other self respecting women's problem with that is the sheer fact that as much as you may be wanting to fulfill certain needs..... at the end of the day doing this on a regular basis and ultimately sleeping with numerous strangers is just not respectful of ourselves. Yes, most people I know have had their random fun... as realistically ... we all have basic needs and wants and if your being safe then yes... the occasional wild night is nothing to be ashamed of in the great scheme of things....
HOWEVER... The truth of the matter is, that us ladies... see more sense in having one regular partner than a string of one night stands... and when we cant find that one regular partner in a committed relationship that we call our boyfriend... then yes...in simple terms...most of us single ladies do appreciate having a ''friend with benefits.''
So I guess I have come to the conclusion and what I am trying to say to all my single ladies is... stop worrying so much about having some ''fun'' and just do what sits right with you and your own self respect. At the end of the day, what's wrong with two consenting adults getting it on? And when it is good.. then I really don't see the harm in that carrying on as long as you both know where your feelings lie.
So..be safe....and enjoy...
x o x o
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